Attend the Funeral

 It’s okay to take a visit to your graveyard of memories and lessons as many times as necessary. This is a sacred place.   

-Wishing something was different doesn’t make it different. It just means that you have spent your time wishing instead of doing something to make things change.

-Sometimes broken dreams don’t scream; sometimes they are deafeningly quiet. It is okay to sit in their silence.

-If Simba wasn’t allowed to stay where everything was “Hakuna Matata,” neither can you. You were meant for the Pride Lands.

-It’s okay to cry (or not cry) when life doesn’t go the way you want. I once read where someone said, “Humans need both water and salt to live. How poetic that God put them both in our tears.” Tears are healthy. It’s okay to cry, friend. 

-It’s okay to grieve over the life you wanted and don’t have (and grieving does not have a guidebook, so don’t let someone tell you how to grieve “properly”).

-If it mattered to you, it matters to God. Don’t make an enemy out of the One Who is always there for you. He has attended funerals too and each person dead left alive. You can be the same.

- It’s okay to stare into the distance and watch visions of goals unfulfilled dance on the walls.

-It’s okay to sit in the breeze outside and hear the whining wind remind you that life will be okay, even if it isn’t right now.

-It’s okay to cry somedays, and be happy other days. Emotions have a mind of their own. :)

-It’s okay for you to be tired after being drained for all you’re worth. Parasites don’t care about how they make you feel, they only use you for what they want. You’ll feel alive again one day. Trust me. 

- It’s okay to take a little more TLC than others. Flowers take time, patience, grace, and perseverance to fight their way through the soil to the sun. Maybe you will have to as well so that you can get a clearer view of the Son.

-It’s okay to take it slow after a fast-paced life came screeching to an abrupt halt. 

-It’s okay to not know who you are and feel lost for a while. 

-It’s okay to embrace the change and new direction that life has gone and trust in God to lead you.

-It’s okay to take a day to sit in your car, cry, and eat whatever meal you want to. Stress and anxiety took enough calories, so this batch won’t hurt.

- It’s okay to carry expectations as long as those expectations don’t carry us. You see, if I drop an expectation, I can easily pick it back up or replace it with another of equal or more fulfilling value. But  what happens when the expectation carries me? If I am dropped, what can I do? Half of life’s biggest disappointments are unmet expectations that were never approved by God in the 1st place. I shouldn’t be mad at Him for an expectation I never shared with Him or allowed time for Him to voice His opinion on. 

-It’s okay to give yourself the grace enough to handle big changes without hating yourself for the changes. Little steps are still steps.

-Sometimes waters will rise in your life and you will feel like you’re drowning, but maybe they are teaching you to swim?

-It’s okay to stop things when necessary and friends will understand that. You HAVE to now so you don’t HAVE to later.

-You can look  at the days you “wasted” in your life or you can look at the life those experiences added to your days.

- It’s okay to look at a calendar full of opportunities and now see empty spaces that take their place. Life has become a blank slate. What are you going to put there?

- It’s okay to step back and reevaluate your life and relationships. Hear me now: Don’t ever invest in anything that does not invest in you. That’s a quick way to get hurt. This will only lead to negative feelings about yourself and others, and will affect your self image. Be careful now though! You see, the minute I go to bed thinking that I am a failure, I am one. Why? You cannot let other people determine how you view yourself or what they think you are “worth.” You cannot do it. You have to hold onto the equal ground you both deserve or you might as well wrap yourself up in plastic wrap, put a For Sale sticker on it, and put yourself on an Ikea shelf. Congrats, you are now a rug for everyone to walk on. Get up and fight for a place amongst the successful, the talented, the strong. If you don’t learn how to become that, people are going to walk all over you. Now, you’re not using people or being “like that.” That’s not what I’m saying. You have to follow Bible commandments, that’s the truth, but you do NOT have to let people walk all over you because they “can.” God gave you a voice, God gave you a brain, and God gave you feelings, so you are allowed to use those. Hard pill to swallow? I’d rather swallow my pride now than be hit with a 2x4 of reality later. Quit putting yourself in situations that don’t give you ANY satisfaction, any joy, and you go to bed everyday hating yourself for putting yourself in a position where you can’t thrive because you’re just trying to survive. That’s not healthy and that’s not wise. You have to understand who you are and who you want to be and YOU have to take the steps necessary to get there. 

-Attend the funeral. Feel your feelings. Don’t shut it out because it’s too painful. Visit the grave and feel the tombstone that holds your broken dreams, hopes, opportunities, and pieces of you there. Wet the soil with your tears. Embrace the reality this place reminds you of that life is far from perfect. Then get up. Wipe your face. Promise yourself that this is not the end. Life can come from dead things when it’s in the right hands. Give up your pride, broken dreams, and the version of you that you tried to maintain but couldn’t, and the pieces of you that have “died” along the way. Give it all to God. In the dirt of life, give yourself to God.  Then get up and start walking. You’ll often find that you’ll leave your own “funeral” feeling more alive than ever.

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