This week, Passover Week, is a great week of reflection for me. A week where we see sacrifice on full display in every sense. A week like this shows a surrendering of the will. In ancient times, people would be on the search for the most perfect, spotless lamb, in order to sacrifice to have their sins forgiven. The shedding of blood was required for the remission of sins. Since life is in the blood (Lev. 17:11), blood must be shed for the atonement of sins (since sin brings death - Romans 6:23). Lose enough blood, and you’ll die. Since oxygen is transported to the brain by blood (through different arteries), any mishap along this transportation route could result in death. So, we can see the picture emerging about just how important blood is. This week, I just can’t help but think about Christ’s surrender to the cross. In Luke 22:44, we see Jesus, in so much anguish, that he began to sweat blood. This condition, called Hematohidrosis, is caused when the sweat glands rupture due to so much pressure, and is a condition most commonly found among people on death row. The realization of the agony that He was about to endure caused so much anguish that He started to sweat blood. If you look in John’s account of Jesus’s death (19:34), we also find that His side was speared, and out flowed blood and water(that signifies that He used every amount of His blood on Calvary to cover all mankind’s sins). So powerful. So profound. A love so deep that He was willing to surrender and shed all His blood for me? A true sacrifice.
As I watch the sun coming up on yet another beautiful day, I can’t help but to take a moment, and remember that sacrifice. I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 3:11 that says:
If we take a look in Luke 10:40, we’ll see a frazzled Martha trying to host a meal for Jesus and His 12 disciples, while her sister sat at Jesus’s feet and listened to Him teach. Now, I understand Martha being frazzled. I am not the best hostess in the slightest. I mean, you can walk into some people’s homes and it’s like you’re royalty, you’re greeted and spoiled as soon as you grace the doors. I’ll try my best, but don’t expect anything more than a cookie and milk and barrage of dog hair on your clothes before you leave. It’s just not my thing, but for Martha, this was how she served the Lord. With that in mind, I understand her anxiety and stress. I mean, she had to feed 14 grown men (Jesus, the 12 disciples, and Lazarus, her brother). The stress and anxiety of her plan not going to plan made her lash out at the very One she was trying to serve. Righteous intentions; bad delivery, Martha. Of all the things she could have said (like yanking Mary to the side and with a death stare say, “Come. Help. Me. Cook. Now”), she marched straight to Jesus and accused Him of not caring about what bothered her. Human nature tends to play the blame game on innocent bystanders when, it all reality, it’s usually our refusal to surrender to Him the thing that’s agitating us that is causing the problem. Yet, the most caring person in the world was accused of not caring all because the pita bread, cheese, and olives weren’t being served in a timely manner. Wow. However, she was not the only one to say this type of thing to Jesus. We hear that same statement uttered by the disciples while being tossed at sea (Mark 4:38); by the Israelites after being rescued from slavery they begged to be delivered from (Exodus 16:3); from Jonah who got mad when a gourd dies, yet was literally fish food and lived to tell about it (Jonah 4:3,8). As we can see here, it’s usually ones who know the Lord most that accuse Him first (His followers).
Throughout all these examples, I see myself. Like a mirror reflecting back an image, the Bible not only helps you see without, but also within. I see myself accusing the Lord of the very same thing sometimes. I remember many times praying and asking God if He really cared about me as much as the Bible said He did. I even wrote a song lyric once that said, “Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to the air. It feels like I’m knocking on Heaven’s door, asking, ‘God, are You still there?...’”. I literally felt like God had stopped caring about me because He wasn’t answering my prayers like I thought was best. Yet, God’s “no,” at that time was a “greater yes” for my future. Him not answering my one prayer actually answered all my prayers that I had previously prayed. You see, God had a perfect will for my life, when my prayers at that time were only seeking God’s permissive will. Sometimes God doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we want them, and that’s okay because He always answers in the way we need them. God wanted me to see that the goal wasn't just to seek what God allowed, but rather to seek what God desired (a "greater yes"). He sees the whole picture, whereas we only see half of it, so trust in God's plan was a safe place. The point is that surrender was the action that was needed on my part.
The truth is, sometimes, no matter how many times God has shown me that His plans are better, I still fight these feelings. As I watch cancer wreck the mind and body of the ones I love and admire, the question still rings in my mind occasionally. Yet, Ecclesiastes 3:11 still rings as true today as the day it was penned. As I watch the sun rise from my office window, I am reminded that in time, it will all make sense. I find hope in knowing that God’s plan is best. Even Jesus, while praying in the Garden, sweating blood, prayed that God would let “this cup” (the cross) pass from Him, and even He didn’t have His agonized prayer answered in the way He asked. Yet, God’s “no” to Jesus while He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane had the greatest “yes” in it towards us. Redemption was the plan and God’s perfect will was to be accomplished, no matter how painful it was in that moment. Jesus’s answer? “...Not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). Surrender on full display, and because of that surrender, I live free indeed. He surrendered, so I can too. In His time, it will all be beautiful.
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